def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
