he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
