weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize