I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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