This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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