Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize