quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
