There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
