Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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