When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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