Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Rumble strips road head = magical
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
