just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ruined the universe
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
