im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
