I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
