Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
