its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
