i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
