If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
