woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
