so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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