Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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