I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
