They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
