That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
