seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
