My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize