is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
