when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
