Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
