why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize