I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
