I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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