After last night, I could never be a politician.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
