I'd wear matching sweaters with you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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