i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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