so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
