Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
