margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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