Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
