It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
