You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
