now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
