I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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