nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
