I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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