spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
