How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
