Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
