Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Randomize
