Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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