Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i think my cat just said my name.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
