You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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