hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
