I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
