What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
