He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
