Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
