I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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